Pretending to Care

I remember in 2001 after 9/11 there was a sudden increase in patriotism. It was even discussed on the news that it was “trendy” to be patriotic. If you didn’t fly Old Glory you might as well have been one of those damn terrorists.

In 2010 we have Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr. With the simple click of a mouse and a few seconds of typing you can boast your support of a variety of causes a variety of ways. It’s almost a status symbol at this point. Peer pressure has taken on a whole new form.

Let’s face it, unless you actually donate to a 501c charity, or go out in your community and help, your little “awareness” games don’t do shit. You are doing nothing but playing a game and keeping up with the trends. You say you care about child abuse, breast cancer, testicular cancer, animal abuse, diabetes, or whatever? Here’s what you do. Stand up, walk out your door, seek out a local authority for your cause and see how you can help.



Love is as strong as death;
Jealousy as cruel as the grave;
The coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.

Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can the floods drown it;
If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would be utterly condemned.

Song of Solomon

I’m not sure you can define love, but that comes pretty close to what I believe about real lasting true love.

I think there is a difference between loving someone, or even being in love with someone, and having a true lasting relationship. Which isn’t to say you weren’t really in love with your ex boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, just that maybe you were missing that little intangible thing that just makes it work.

Real love, the kind that lasts a lifetime, is more than romantic love. It is knowing the person inside and out. It is having both good and bad days. It is being the best friend possible, and it is realizing you are both human. We aren’t perfect, so its ridiculous to think our partner should be as well.

In my ideal world Mr. Right doesnt come home with flowers for no reason, or surprise me with a candlelight dinner at home. He takes Kenna out when I feel like crap, does the dishes, and occasionally opens doors for me. He thinks I’m sexy in my sweats, or scrubs. He fights with me, and sometimes even puts his foot down.

Perfect and romantic is boring. Give me a real man and real love.

Food…my enemy

Kind of funny that the prompt calls for a description of what I ate today, because yesterday I joined the myfitnesspal (or buddy? I can’t remember) that everyone has been into lately. I’m making a concentrated effort to improve my mental state, and as a result my life will improve as well. I figure healthy food and some good old fashioned exercise is a start.

So, what have I eaten today? A cup of coffee (skim milk and heavily sugared) and about 1 cup of corn chex (also skim milk). It is now lunchtime, and will probably have a cheese sandwich. Dinner is a mystery. I’m ‘allowed’ 1530 calories a day, I’m predicting the real challenge will be increasing my calories, since I’m so horrible at having an appetite.

Also, I get internet this week! No more posting to fb, twitter, forums, or wp via crappy mobile web! Huzzah!

Meet the Parents

I’m slacking on this meme already. Today the prompt calls for me to describe my parents in great detail.

Well my Dad is ex-army and current correctional officer. And that pretty much explains him. He is his job. He lives in California.

Mommy dearest is a pain in the ass. She is over dramatic, self involved, and really just an all around fake bitch. She can be quite verbally abusive, and you know when I complain about her I have good reason.

That pretty much sums up my parents. Heaven help mine and my sister’s future spouses.

Sex toy review: The Octopussy

I have to admit, I initially clicked on the Octopussy because of the name. It reminded me of the old 007 movies, and made me giggle. But because I have wanted a glass toy for a long time, and this one was pretty and eye catching I chose to review it.

The Octopussy is made of 6 1/2 inches of Pyrex glass (4 1/2 inches insertable). It is absolutely stunning to look at, so much so that its tempting to display in full view. Mine is mostly clear, and only the suction cup bumps are pink. The gentle wave in shape is designed for hitting your G Spot, and the ridges and bumps add to the stimulation. The hook at the end makes the most of the length.

The thing I love most about this dildo, are the endless possibilities. Every experience can be different. Because it is made of glass, it can easily be warmed up or cooled down, whichever tickles your fancy. You can twist it backwards and the sensations be completely different. Add a bullet and I’m sure the orgasms would be fabulous. Personally I have only used it at room temperature (which was rather chiily) but this has quickly become my favorite toy. The girth was perfect, and the ridges and bumps hit all the right spots. The hook is a little awkward to manuever at first, but I quickly caught on.
The other great thing about this and all glass toys is that it can easily be sanitized. Just slip it into some boiling water and it is clean.

Overall, the Octopussy has converted me. Once a fan of rabbits and dual stimulation, I now know this will not be my last glass toy and I’d like to thank Babeland for giving me the chance to try it.

First love

First official day of the meme is “Your first love, in great detail”.

My first love was Zach. I was high school freshman, he was a junior. We were in band and JROTC together, and as a result spent a lot of time together. We became great friends fast. We didn’t start dating until the second semester and it was short lived, his dad didn’t like the age difference and the risk it had for Zach.

I think because we started out as such great friends and there was/is such a natural chemistry there, it made it easy to love him. We always explained it like two puzzle pieces that just fit, and that’s exactly how it felt. There has always been a connection there.

We fight hard, we don’t always see eye to eye, and sometimes we bring out the worst in each other. We are equally hard headed and we know each other well enough that we know exactly what button to push and when. We make mistakes, we get close, we push each other away, and we always come back. Eight years now, we have been doing this. We have been through a lot. His marriage and divorce, two deployments, my own relationships and problems, and we now have a daughter.

Now he wants to reconcile. At first I was completely closed off to it. I didn’t want to open myself up to him in that way again. It hurts to be let down by him. But the more I see things with Jay coming to an end, the more I see that Zach is capable of what I want and need in a partner. And maybe I have just been trying to make Jay into something he’s not.

You never forget your first.

The Next 30 Days

I decided to try out a meme. I’ve tried to do them a few times and I usually lose interest. Hopefully I can finish this one since I really like the different topics. So for the next month I will be following the meme as well as my usual reviews and occasional updates about life in general.

Speaking of that life I suppose I could do a little update. To be honest there just isn’t a whole lot to say. Things with Jay are rough, and that’s putting it lightly. I’m not sure that we can or will come through this. Zach is going to deploy in February. And he wants to potentially reconcile. Right now I’m just trying to focus on one thing and that’s me. Enrollment at the community college for the spring starts soon and that is something I’m very excited about. Kenna is now walking, starting to talk more, and she’s starting to show signs that she’s ready to potty train. Just taking things one step at a time.